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12.00 Lunch with best friend at fashionable outdoor cafe
12.45 Catch sight of husband/boyfriend's ex and notices she has
gained 7kg
1.00 Shopping with friends, unlimited credit
3.00 Nap
4.00 Three dozen roses delivered by florist, card id from secret
admirer
4.15 Light work out at club, followed by massage from strong but
gentle hunk who says he rarely gets to work on such a perfect body
5.30 Choose outfit from expensive designer wardrobe, parade
before
full length mirror
7.30 Candle lit dinner for two followed by dancing, with compliments
received from other diners/dancers
10.00 Hot shower (alone)
10:50 Carried to bed . . . (freshly ironed, crisp, new, white
linen)
11.00 Pillow talk, light touching and cuddling
11.15 Fall asleep in his big strong arms
Your adverts like that of Viaguru are Welcome !!
See below !!
The Beer Prayer by Mr P
Our Lager,
Which art in barrels,
Hallowed be thy drink.
Thy will be drunk, I will be drunk,
At home as it is in the pub.
Give us this day, our foamy head,
And forgive us for our spillage,
As we forgive those who spill on us.
And lead us not into incarceration,
But deliver us from hangovers.
For thine is the beer, the bitter and the lager.
For ever and ever.
~~~~~~~~~
Did you hear that Viagra now comes in a nasal spray?
It's for Dickheads!
A recent study was made to find out what days men prefer to have sex?
It was found that men preferred to engage in sexual activity more than
any other time on the days that started with a "T":
Those days being....
Tuesday, Thursday, Thanksgiving, Today, Tomorrow, Thaturday & Thunday
A Workman's Prayer
Now I sit me down to work,
I pray my boss won't be a jerk,
if I get fired before it's late,
I pray, dear Lord, my gun won't break.
Manoj, Ranjit and Deepak (The Guys) are at the Saigon Passion strip joint.
The girl with big PoPos is shaking her stuff in front of them wearing a G-string.
Manoj (showing off) pulls out a $20 bill, licks it and sticks it on her
butt cheek.
Ranjit (trying to show up Manoj) pulls out a $50 bill, licks it and
sticks it on her other butt cheek.
Deepak pulls out his ATM card swipes it down the crack of her butt and puts the $20 and the $50 in his wallet.
Here is some humor about marriage. Hope you laugh at least once
and lose your drowsiness. Someday you gotta get Married. Tony, Chugs & Nickil Dont keep us waiting too long !!!!
Getting married is very much like going to a continental restaurant with
friends. You order what you want, then when you see what the other
fellow has, you wish you had ordered that.
At the cocktail party, one woman said to another, "Aren't you wearing
your wedding ring on the wrong finger?" The other replied,
"Yes I am, I married the wrong man."
Man is incomplete until he is married. Then he is really finished.
Marriage is an institution in which a man loses his bachelor's degree
and the woman gets her master's.
A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does it cost to get
married?" And the father replied, "I don't know, son, I'm still paying
for it."
Young Son: Is it true, Dad, I heard that in some parts of Africa a >man
doesn't know his wife until he marries her?
Dad: That happens in most countries, son.
Then there was a man who said, "I never knew what real happiness
was until I got married; and then it was too late.
A happy marriage is a matter of give and take; the husband gives
and the wife takes.
A marriage is a matter of Pay and Smile; the husband pays
and the wife smiles.
When a newly married man looks happy we know why. But when a
ten-year married man looks happy - we wonder why.
Married life is very frustrating. In the first year of marriage, the man speaks and the woman listens. In the second year, the woman speaks
and the man listens. In the third year, they both speak and the
neighbors listen.
After a quarrel, a wife said to her husband, "You know, I was a fool
when I married you." And the husband replied, "Yes, dear, but I was in
love and didn't notice it."
It doesn't matter how often a married man changes his job,he still ends up with the same boss.
A man inserted an 'ad' in the classifiers: "Wife wanted". Next day he
received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing:
"You can have mine."
When a man opens the door of his car for his wife, you can be sure of one thing: either the car is new or the wife.
A perfect wife is one who helps the husband with the dishes.
A woman was telling her friend , "It is I who made my husband a
millionaire." "And what was he before you married him." Asked the
friend. The woman replied, " A multi-millionaire".
After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin;
they just can't face each other,
but still they stay together
Marriage is a three ring circus: engagement ring,
wedding ring, and suffering.
Marriage is not a word;
it is a sentence.
Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.
Second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience.
Marriage is when a man and woman become as one;
the trouble starts when they try to decide which one.
Before marriage, a man yearns for the woman he loves.
After marriage, the 'Y' becomes silent.
If you want your spouse to listen and pay strict attention to every
word you say, talk in your sleep
TAKEOVER OF NEPA.
Dear Mr. Ranjit. A. Hemnani,
Re: TAKEOVER OF NEPA.
We are pleased to inform you that our buyout plans for Nepa have taken
a positive sense of direction.
Further to our continous efforts and numerous discussions in various
locations around the metropolis of Lagos like Afterhours, Panchos and
of course Brass Lamp, We have now managed to attract the interest of
two other major investors.
The two gentleman involved are well respected and highly knowledgeable
in their respective fields. Our discussions with them were very lengthy and enlightening. They are now prepared to invest their time
and finance and hopefully we shall now achieve our long ambition of
being more involved in the daily affairs of Nigeria.
The two gentleman involved are
1. Mr. Manoj. P. Dadlani
2. Mr. Deepak. P. Mahtani
Kindly consider the above matter and please revert to us with your comments.
May Almighty Allah help us to achieve our goals and ambitions.
(Maybe if he is feeling generous he can send loads of POPOS to Lagos
so we have a better time at Panchos).
Look forward to your prompt and favourable reply.
Thanking you,
Yours faithfully,
For DREAM ON VENTURES.
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Ranjit
